4 Months Sleep Regression: How To Survive and Thrive

Have you ever googled “Can you die from sleep deprivation?” Just when your baby started sleeping for decent stretches through the night and you were SURE this is your new reality AND questioning why everyone dreads the four months sleep regression —- BAM! Your baby hits four months (or maybe yours hit it at 3),  the sleep regression kicks in and they start waking frequently, fighting bedtime or resisting naps. And you’re wondering—is this my new sleep deprived reality? How long will it last?
Will I really survive this? How can I stop it? So first what you need to know is that you will sleep again! The 4 months sleep regression is a phase. But what if you could get through it easier? Keep reading for top tips on how to survive and thrive during the dreaded sleep regression phase. 

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What is the four month sleep regression?

Before we go into surviving and thriving, we really actually need to make sure that the sleep problems you are experiencing are actually the regression, and not something else. Let’s break down the infamous four month-sleep regression that everyone seems to have nightmares about, even long after it’s gone. Just when your 8-10 week old baby hits a few weeks of solid sleep, everything changes! Suddenly, you’ve lost count of how many times your baby woke up in the middle of the night. 

This period of wakefulness is often referred to as a sleep regression, however a more fitting term is actually that it is a sleep PRO-gression. This is because your baby is experiencing a phase of rapid brain development. What you see is more wakeful nights (just what every parent loves to hear) but also brand new skills! It is likely that in addition to disrupted sleep you noticed rolling, grabbing moving objects, laughing, blowing raspberries, babbling and more. 

The regression can last 3 to 6 weeks and is different for every baby. Keep reading to learn the difference between a regression or when something else might be going on for you and disrupting sleep.

If you are currently holding your sweet newborn, reading this, and thinking, my future is doomed, remember not all babies go through sleep regression in the same way. Some babies get through the regressions like nothing happened, so don’t worry, brain development is still happening, but you lucked out and it’s just not keeping them and you up at night.

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Signs The Sleep Progression is Happening

Are you wondering – is this a  sleep regression? Here are signs that a regression is visiting you and the disrupted sleep is a phase that will pass on its own.  One big sign is—you guessed it—new skills! Blowing raspberries IS a skill! Other signs include more middle of the night  wakes than usual, shorter naps, less predictable sleep, and periods of wide awake hours in the middle of the night to practice their newly learned skill (this last one is most common at 4 months and 8-10 months regressions).

Additional signs include suddenly waking up earlier than usual (important note: an early morning wake-up can also point to overtiredness, nap transition, or something in the environment), resisting naps and bedtime, and needing more support to fall asleep. Simply saying, if you notice changes in your baby’s sleep AND a brand new skill around the age when the regression is due, then congratulations your baby is probably experiencing a sleep regression!

Something to keep in mind is that your baby learning a new skill means that their brain is developing. So the next time you notice your baby mastering a new skill, remember their brain is growing and overall this is GOOD, albeit exhausting news. 

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The Four-Month Sleep Regression Does *not* Cause Wakes Every Hour All Night 

Let me begin by clearing up a common myth—yes, the dreaded four-month sleep regression causes increased wakefulness briefly. The frequent wakes do not last for weeks or months on end, and even more importantly, the regression does not result in waking up every single hour all night. Waking up every hour, throughout the night is an indication of something else that is going on, such as discomfort or daytime feeding challenges.

Four month olds are notoriously distracted during the day—  remember all that brain development? It also means that they are more interested in exploring the world around them. Who wants to stop, eat or sleep when there is so much to explore? The frequent overnight wake ups may be caused by the fact that they were too distracted to nurse during the day. In this particular case, you are not experiencing a sleep issue, but a feeding challenge. 

Here’s the most important takeaway: sleep regressions DO NOT cause ongoing wakes every hour all night long, for weeks or months on end . Your baby waking up every one to two hours all night for several days or weeks points to another cause.

P.s. the internet might be telling you this is happening because you didn’t teach your baby to self soothe – but the fact based on up to date science is that babies do not have the brain development to self soothe by being left alone to cry. Learn more about self soothing in this free 10 minute video. 

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How Can I Survive This!?

Sleep deprivation is  inevitable with newborns and young babies and happens to everyone in phases. Here are tips to make these short, but difficult phases easier. One piece of advice that I absolutely hated getting when I was a first time mom was to “sleep when my baby sleeps”. I simply couldn’t sleep, because I was consumed with the knowledge that I would  be woken up again soon.

Getting rest is essential, and I required a mindset shift to help me get the sleep I needed. I changed  my mindset to focusing  on my priority to get as much rest as I could while my baby sleeps. This helped me take the pressure off of falling asleep and dreading being woken up, while still prioritizing essential rest. You don’t have to be sleeping, but even deep rest is proven (by research) to be beneficial and can provide your brain with what it needs to get through your day.

The Power of Asking (and accepting) Help

Through experience, I have learned the importance of asking and accepting help from others, especially as a new mom. Asking for help when you feel like you have to do everything on your own can be overwhelming at times, but reaching out can make a world of difference. Whether it’s your partner, friends, family members, or paid help – there are people who care about you and want to lend a helping hand. 

Don’t hesitate to ask for help, even if it feels difficult at first. Remember that getting help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a necessary step in taking care of yourself and your baby. One example of how you can ask for help is by setting up a schedule with your partner to take turns during the night and morning shifts. By sharing responsibilities, you can make sure that you can get the rest you need to stay happy and healthy. 

Hydrate Your Way to Better Sleep! 

We often underestimate the importance of staying hydrated, but water plays an important role in our overall well-being. Beyond simply quenching your thirst, research shows that being hydrated can significantly improve the quality of your sleep. By going to bed hydrated, you are less likely to experience sleep deprivation. Even if your sleep is shorter or if you experience frequent interruptions. So, make sure to drink plenty of water throughout the day. It is a simple way of combating the feeling of sleep deprivation. Remember this is not intended as a strategy to replace your sleep needs, this intended as a strategy to navigate hard days more easily. 

Try The Reverse Sleep-In

What is reverse sleep – in? It is “sleeping in” at the start of the night, rather than in the morning, which starts your night early and  gives you more time to sleep. As a mom, you are spending your whole day taking care of your baby. When nighttime comes and your baby is asleep, you want to continue on with your life, and thats completely understandable. However for your wellbeing it is essential to prioritize sleep. This phase is short and your sleep is a *need* for your health, mental health and wellbeing. You’re probably wondering, will this be my life forever, going to sleep at 7PM? NO.

Going to bed at 7PM in this phase can make a huge difference to your wellbeing. Remember, what it really is, just a short PHASE. You will not be going to bed at 7PM forever. But because you are sleep deprived at this stage, you need as much rest and sleep as you can get. Think about the evening as your opportunity to sleep in; you will get a longer stretch of sleep even if you are woken up by your baby.

Prioritize Saving Your Energy! 

We talked about getting more energy by adding sleep and water. Now let’s talk about saving energy. When you are sleep deprived and running low on energy, saving your energy counts. If your baby sleeps in the crib or in another room, you will inevitably have to spend more energy to get to them by having to get up and out of bed, walking over, and lifting them out of a crib during night feeds or wakes and then repeating this process multiple times per night.

This is a recipe for fast exhaustion. Consider your sleeping arrangements, are they maximizing your sleep? Saving your energy does not mean immediately resorting to bed sharing as it may not a safe option for everyone. in case you’re wondering – we DO support and encourage bed sharing . But at the same time we do acknowledge it is not the right option foe everyone and it is essential that you are able to practice it safely. It’s important to know that there are lots of options in between crib sleep all night and bedsharing.

It is essential to practice the best arrangement for you. We go through all the options and sleeping arrangements and how to practice them safely inside the Baby Sleep Essentials Course. Remember your sleeping arrangement (or back-up sleeping arrangement) doesn’t have to be a long-term option. If you don’t want it to be but it can be a life saver during the short sleep regression phase.  

Prioritizing Self-Care

I know, I know, NOT another thing to do. But if you can make this happen for yourself, it can be a huge difference. Your nutrition and vitamin intake can make a huge difference between feeling exhausted from sleep deprivation and feeling more like yourself throughout the day so making sure you eat is essential.

This is where getting help comes handy. Let your partner or family know that  they can help you by making sure your nutritional needs are met. Another way to reduce the load is to ask yourself this question- what priorities, projects or expectations can you put on hold during this phase? It’s important for you to prioritize your wellbeing first during this phase. Remember, it’s a short phase, and it will pass. You will get back to your “normal” schedule , I promise and it might even result in a new and improved version of yourself.  Sure, the late night parties and 5AM journaling may not be an option right now, but they will come back soon if you want them to. For now, it’s okay to put them aside till you’re ready to enjoy them again. 

Share Your Experiences with me!

Visit our Instagram and share with me- what did the 4 months sleep regression look like for your baby? Did you notice the signs? Did you not notice signs? I would love to read all your different journeys.

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